5 Physical Responses to Trauma: How they feel.

This blog is Part Three in a five-part series. If you haven’t yet had a chance, please read Part One, "The cost of being a victim..." by Alexandra Ruiz Costas in English and en español and my first of two blogs about 5 Physical Responses to Trauma in English and en espaňol.

In the first statement below, you’ll see the freeze response, which I dissected in last week’s blog. In this blog, I’ll introduce the remaining four responses of the 5 Physical Responses to Trauma.

"I couldn't move. It's like my brain disconnected from my body."

"I didn't have time to think. I just ran." 

"I said no. STOP! I'm done! I'm calling the cops."

"I was afraid of him. I couldn't leave so I kept trying to make sure that everything was the way he wanted. My body was tense the whole time, but I'd ask him what I could get for him, what he needed, just trying, hoping, praying he wouldn't hurt me again."

"He kept saying he loved me and I wanted to believe him. I needed him. He was all I had. So I just kept pretending that everything was normal. That everything was fine." 

As I mentioned last week, each of these five statements reveal one of the five physical responses to trauma. In this blog, we will cover the remaining four.

"I didn't have time to think. I just ran." 

This person is describing the flight response. We see this in deer, who often leap away to safety if they suddenly see or hear someone nearby. Flight is an active response, and one that is often a highly protective response–to run away from the abuser or situation, to run and call for help. It is important for survivors who flee to have a safety plan so that the perpetrator cannot find them. Safety plans include: 

• Call 911 or your country's emergency code.

• Contact a shelter or healing center to help you find temporary housing and basic needs services.

• Go to a friend's or relative's home where the perpetrator can't find you.

• File a police report.

• Work with a social worker or advocate to file a Personal Protection Order (PPO). 

"I said no. STOP! I'm done! I'm calling the cops."

This person exemplifies the fight response. Like flight, fight is an active response that can help a person stand up to a harmful situation. As with flight, after the fight response, survivors need a safety plan to get away from a perpetrator, whose need to control might escalate with an active fight response of their own (see safety plan options under Flight.)

When I took my kids to an animal rescue center, one of the guides described the animals this way:

Eyes in the front? Like to hunt.

Eyes on the side? Like to hide.

The animals who like to hide–like deer and rabbits–tend toward the freeze and flight responses to escape the situation. A lion, on the other hand, will fight back, especially if they are protecting young and/or know that fighting will prevent them from a future threat.

"I was afraid of him. I couldn't leave so I kept trying to make sure that everything was the way he wanted. My body was tense the whole time, but I'd ask him what I could get for him, what he needed, just trying, hoping, praying, he wouldn't hurt me again."

This person described the fawning response: trying to placate an aggressor so that they will not hurt you. Perpetrators who harm people in a relationship are seeking control over them. They are physically and psychologically manipulative, frequently blaming the victim for their (the perpetrator's) harmful behavior. After being psychologically manipulated, a victim might start believing that it is their fault and connected to that gaslit belief is another belief: "If only I try harder;" "If only I hadn't done or said that," "If only, if only...." They are manipulated to falsely believe that if they caused the harm, they can also stop the harm, if only.... 

When humans abuse animals, the animals might fawn in response: a dog crouching down and wagging their tail; a lamb putting itself in a vulnerable position and looking up. 

"He kept saying he loved me and I wanted to believe him. I needed him. He was all I had. So I just kept pretending that everything was normal. That everything was fine." 

This person is describing the fake response. As I mentioned above, perpetrators want to control victims. In this case, the perpetrator isolated the victim from friends and family and gaslit her to believe he loved her and she needed him. Many survivors fake it because they feel that they cannot escape it. Faking it can be connected to denial, another protective defense mechanism of the brain. People deny that something horrible happened to protect themself from having to face something horrible. They reason that if we pretend nothing bad is happening, maybe we can believe nothing bad is happening. Sadly, that defense mechanism keeps the trauma trapped inside, without resolution, and can negatively impact communication, health, relationships, and work.

Now, we know the five physical responses to trauma. Next, we will help readers understand how to respond to trauma survivors with sensitivity, believing them, and supporting them according to how they want to be supported. And finally, we will recommend various techniques that have worked for us to release embodied trauma and find a healing pathway. Stay with us. We're in this together!

What's up next? In next week’s blog, Alexandra Ruiz Costas will discuss "How to treat survivors with the respect and compassion they deserve."

In the fifth blog of this series, I will apply the 5 Physical Trauma Responses to other types of trauma and answer these questions:

How can survivors remove embodied trauma and open their healing journey?"

How does Healing Bells collaborate respectfully and sensitively with survivors and how do they open a healing pathway together?