Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.
Mary Oliver (1935–2019) was a prolific poet, Pulitzer Prize and National Book Award winner whose writings can feel as if she's strumming a tune on my heartstrings. This week, a yoga teacher mentioned three simple phrases from Mary Oliver to our class. These seven words shifted my perspective into gratitude and love.
"Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it."
-From the poem Sometimes, by Mary Oliver
A friend once said to me that the definition of love is paying attention. Ever since then, I've embraced that definition. I've paid attention to those who pay attention. And unless the person paying attention has malevolent intent (you can feel those alerts in your body), I repeatedly see that paying attention is indeed what love looks like:
Truly paying attention to how someone feels.
Listening deeply to what they say.
Believing them.
Affirming them.
Reflecting to them what you hear them saying.
Responding honestly to their questions.
Caring about what matters to them.
Noticing when something happened that affects their wellbeing.
Experiencing the contentment that comes from equity & mutual care in relationships.
Leaning into tough topics.
Being committed to work through challenges.
Crying together.
Laughing together.
Sitting in comfortable silence together.
Speaking your truth to one another.
Respecting one another's boundaries.
Sharing dreams.
Encountering deer on a nature hike.
Thriving together at home and exploring new vistas.
Feeling eager to hear one another's voices and feel each other's embrace.
Experiencing awe together as you watch a brilliant sunset over a lake or ocean.
Feeling astonishment when you see shooting stars.
Sensing delight as the first petals of a flower open up to bloom.
Expressing wonder at hearing beautiful music and birdsong.
Expressing gratitude for pollinators and earth keepers.
Expressing awe in seeing a garden grow, smelling and tasting its fresh offerings.
Finding peace from the scent of lilacs, lavender, and lilies.
Expressing appreciation for creativity and the ability to problem solve.
Tasting blueberry streusel muffins fresh out of the oven.
Daring to try new things.
Being brave enough to change.
Celebrating diverse cultures, lands, and beings.
Supporting each other’s passions.
Finding joy in cooking & cleaning together.
Witnessing their loving care for you, children, friends, pets, plants, your home....
Having the humility to make mistakes and admit it.
Having the grace to let go.
Having the integrity to treat each other with respect and dignity.
Committing to a peaceful existence together.
Offering a tenderness of spirit and gentleness of touch.
We'd love to hear from you. Tell us what comes up for you from Mary Oliver's three phrases and seven words. Share your own three phrases or artistic expressions on paying attention, being astonished, and telling about it.
"Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it."
-From the poem Sometimes, by Mary Oliver
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