What are the 8 Stages of Listening? Learn how they transform relationships!
- Pamela Ruiter -Feenstra
- Oct 7, 2025
- 2 min read
Updated: Nov 9, 2025
On the first Tuesday of each month, I’m revealing more information about Healing Bells’ trailblazing course series, Compose for Change: Healing Arts, which launches in January. Sign up here to receive more information, or to secure a spot before the classes are full. See my September 2 blog for introductory information for this life-changing course! Then, learn about deep listening below.
Learn the 8 Stages of Listening and how they impact relationships
Have you ever felt truly heard and seen for the person you are?
Deep, nonjudgmental listening is a rare gift. It is an act of love–of paying attention. Without it, assumptions take root, divisions deepen, and relationships suffer.
Love = paying attention = deep, compassionate listening
When someone listens with love, we feel seen and heard, validated and affirmed. When fear drives communication, trust breaks down, and people may feel ignored, blamed, or even dehumanized.
The good news: deep listening can be learned. It’s a choice we can all make. That’s why, in Compose for Change: Healing Arts, we’ll explore the 8 Stages of Listening–and how each stage shapes our relationships. Here are a few examples.
Stage 1: Analise tries to talk to Damien, but Damien isn’t paying attention. Analise feels ignored and diminished.
Stage 5: Damien pretends to listen to Analise, but judges with an “I know better attitude.” Analise feels invalidated. She decides she can't trust someone who chooses not to listen to her. She turns to her friend Beatrice instead.
Stage 8: Beatrice listens with compassion, respect, and acceptance–no agenda, criticism, or unsolicited advice–simply gratitude and appreciation.
To learn about all 8 Stages of Listening, sign up here for the
Compose for Change: Healing Arts class!
It drops in January!
Here's how the course works!
Compose for Change: Healing Arts is a project-based course where you’ll
choose a social issue that matters to you,
write and reflect on how it impacts you
choose your project track
create an artwork based on the issue you choose
This is the first step toward change: compassionately understanding how issues develop and play out in people's lives, so we can work together for solutions.
The class series of videos are self-paced. We encourage participants to follow the class sequentially in fairly close proximity to integrate the material most effectively. The course methods were developed by Dr. Pamela Ruiter-Feenstra, Artistic Director of Healing Bells. Community Standards policies apply.
We welcome you! We listen to you!
Sign up here for the Compose for Change: Healing Arts class!
It drops in January!
In next week’s blog, hear an incredible story of how Civil Rights activist, poet, and author Dr. Maya Angelou became such a deep, compassionate listener. Our blog drops on Tuesdays!
Comments